Hello! Woo hoo! Over here!

I first noticed it in high school. I worked at a "cookie store". I spent a year or two eating and selling hot gooey cookies at Grandma Buffalo's Chips (man to have that metabolism again!). It would happen often that a customer would look behind them in bewilderment while I attempted to help them from behind the counter. It always surprised me and my first thought was, "Duh! There is no one else there". However, over time I noticed a pattern. It always happened when I stood in the same place. In time I discovered that at the perfect distance if I look at someone, directly in the eye, they think I am not. It appears to them I am looking through or past them. They will look behind them, stand confused or point to themselves in question. My favorite is when then just furrow their brow and wince a little. Backing up or turning my head usually seemed to make their discomfort go away. It bugged me though because I was still looking them directly in the eye! A year or so later I was forced to sketch myself in a college drawing class. It was then I discovered "my issue". Okay...one of my issues! One eye is offset. It's crooked! Not like pointing the wrong way but like it stepped to the left! Seriously! I read once that Christi Brinkley is perfectly beautiful because she is symmetrical, both halves of her face are exactly the same. The Greeks even sculpted and painted people this way. Identical halves are ideal. Well, I missed that boat. I am asymmetrical! I am two different people glued together with this eye that stepped to the left. Anyway, I notice it at an exact distance somewhere around 3-4 feet. They have to be standing directly in front of me. I have experimented with which way to turn, tilt or lift my head. Apparently I have mastered it because it's only rarely that I notice it now. However, every now and again some poor fool will point to themselves or look behind them. It's just one of the things that makes me uniquely me. I really believed that was the extent of it and attempted to limit the self-conciousness of it. Well, I was wrong! One day Matt says, "Where are you looking?" I laughed and assumed my position. He asked again before explaining one eye had made a detour while we were talking. Crap! Now it floats around! That sucks! In time I have pinpointed that issue as well. It appears to occur only when I am tired. Lucky for me I don't notice it. It's not like I see two different directions at once. But...how cool would that be? Cool. Once in awhile just to razz me he will jump around and ask if I can still see him. Ha ha! It's a funny quirky thing that feels like a fun party trick that only I am party to. To my surprise by accident I recorded it...well sort of. I took a picture with the camera on my phone of my friend and I in Vegas. After uploading it to Facebook and reviewing it later I nearly wet myself in laughter! In this photo it looks FAKE! It looks like a knockoff glass eye! As much as this makes me odder than I already am, I LOVE IT! I love knowing I have the power to make people oddly uncomfortable by standing still. If you spend enough time with me one day it might just spin wildly in circles. I guess you will just have to wait in uncomfortable and nervous anticipation for which it might be!