Out the mouth of Ry!

Early in the week Ryder was watching Like Mike on TV. It's a cute little movie about an orphan that finds a pair of Michael Jordan's shoes that were hit by lightening. When he wears them he plays basketball, "like Mike". Ryder was mesmorized by the movie. I am not even sure he blinked. Afterwards he got my keys and told me we needed to go get him "some tricky shoes". I finally figured out he was asking me to find him shoes like in the movies. Every day since he has asked over and over for them. He is dead serious and wants to FLY! Sunday Matt is going to take him to find some. No harm in feeding that imagination! I guess we will just have to make sure he doesn't get disappointed.

I was dropping him off for school and I asked if we needed to blow his nose. His reply to me, "No. My burgers are gone and nothing is melting right now!" For the rest of my life when I get a runny nose I will think of that!

I was sitting at my desk and my foot was twisted to the side. He was sitting on the floor right by me and yelled, "GROSS!" I figured it was something the dog or the baby did. Nope! He was pointing to MY feet! My heel to be specific. I laughed and laughed. I really love flip flops but they don't love me and frankly my feet are gross!

This morning he woke up at 6:30. I was ignoring him hoping he would go back to sleep (of course he was in my bed). He grabbed my face and held it with both hands. He announced in a growl, "Mom! Did you forget to feed me dinner yesterday?". I guess he was hungry. I told him I had made him dinner but he chose not to eat it. He said to me, "That wasn't real food. I needed a real dinner".

Player #11 please step forward!

The last few days have been a whirlwind! This was the first week of school. Due to weather and construction delays everyone started at different times. In the midst Abbi was finishing up high school volleyball tryouts. That experience proved to be one of the most emotional of my mothering. Multitudes of girls wanted it so badly and were all giving their very best. I watched only for a few minutes, literally 2-3, before crying! The drive, stamina and drive was astounding! I knew she had put her very best forward but nonetheless was nervous and afraid for her. I have been on the other side of "not making it" and wouldn't wish that on anyone. In the end she did make the team and it's been very exciting to hear all that will be involved. Mostly I am just glad that part is over. I literally was having nightmares and stomach cramps. I am so incredibly moved by the person my little girl proved to be in the process. It gives me a lump in my throat. There is nothing more in my life that moves me than seeing someone reach their potential!

Oops! I so didn't mean to do that!

Tomorrow is the first offical day back to school. My third is starting preschool, my second middle school and my first high school. The baby gets some time alone! Well, the high school first day has been delayed. There was flooding due to a rainstorm so she scored a few extra days. Either way, we treated today as the offical last day of summer! I went to the grocery store, did the laundry, cleaned the house and took a nap. The girls went to mall and blew all their summer earnings. Afterwards we started the summer makeovers! I gave both a new haircut (it's not torture, they actually prefer I cut it). We curled, twisted and sprayed practicing for what tomorrow morning would look like. After hair we moved to hair removal! I used to tease my husband when were dating that if we were to ever have kids we would have to dip them once a week in kerosene and light them on fire to keep the hair at bay! Ha! My family is just fuzzy, peach fuzzy. My dad has like 2 hairs on his chest but the women come with a layer of fur. To my dismay in time they also often grow a beard! His family comes with torso hair! Our kids are super lucky! He grows it everywhere he doesn't want it but no longer grows it on the top of his head. I have been waxing Abbi's (14) eyebrows for at least a year. Tonight, I did her first. When she was finished we talked Izze into a turn (11). She really wanted to but was scared. We convinced her it was worth it and away I went. The anticipation was like getting a shot or giving blood. She freaked! She wiggled, giggled, squirmed and screamed. I peeled her hands away from her face and applied the wax. She begged I tell her "when". So, I jerked the strip and yelled, "WHEN". She almost didn't let me do the other eye. When she was finished her eyebrows looked better but her face was hysterically red and blotchy. She said over and over, "That hurt! It hurt! So bad! I can't believe it!'. My reply to her, "Oh gee. You have a lot more to come sista!". The things we do to beautify! My son came out of the womb with a unibrow. I have wanted to rip it off for 3 years. After Izze calmed her rant I asked him if he wanted a turn. He said, "yup!" and hopped up. I laid the strip down and ripped right down the middle. He gave me an evil eye but calmly replied, "Ouch". I did a second strip and away he went. He said as he was getting down, "that hurt!". I told him it does but he looked magnificant. He turned and gave me double thumbs up. Everyone looked so good I figured I deserved a freshening too. I invited Izze to witness me rip my "moustache" off. We went in the bathroom and did just that. She was horrified but I pretended it didn't phase me. I followed the lip with the tops of each eyebrow and in between. By that point I was bored with the hours of beautification and was moving quickly. Two more rips and I could move on. I pulled the first strip and then just stood in awe of what I had just accomplished. My eyebrow...gone! Well, half of it! Bald and shiny skin left where there was once a perfectly fine and wild brow! Oops! I so didn't mean to do that! I invited both girls to evaluate my work. They were horified and in shock of my display. "What are you going to do? ",they asked. I replied, "This!" and ripped off the other! I figured I might as well match! I have done far worse things to myself than sacrifice 50% of a brow. In my 36 years I have mutilated nearly every part of me in some way or another. I am also aware there are multitudes of women that do this on purpose! So, for now I will DRAW in the missing halves. Hmmm....maybe I can finally have the perfectly arch like the eyebrows in magazines. Except they just might be as convincing using my black Sharpie!

OK...fine, fine!

I started this blog months ago with every intention of writing down the funny things that make up my life. However, I didn't really do it. I swear something funny happens every hour. I also stand firm that if I told the honest truth of my days people would believe I was a pathalogical liar! It would appear that there is just 'no way'. However, after what seems like hundreds of people in my life have said, "you are nuts not to write this stuff down" I have decided it's just what I will do. It in theory should take me just a minute to jot down these accounts. It's these simple accounts that not only create my life but also quickly evade my memory and will someday be lost if not written. I vow and commit right here, right now to document! I shall just write the happenings and daily events of my normal, average, spectacular and often hysterical life. If no one else ever reads it, fine. If they do, alright then. I have proven to myself that I am forgetful and these moments make my life, "my life" so they are worth writing. If only for my own recall or my kids enjoyment. So, from here forward believe it or not THIS IS MY LIFE!