Nice to meet you, Oprah!

3/28/11
Since I met Kara I thought, "She belongs on Oprah!". Her hair is like no other! I just entered her into a Oprah's LAST makeover search! Please cross your fingers that she ,"and a guest will fly free to Chicago Illinois!"

My submission:

Casper white, blue eyes, heart of gold with a blond fro describes my best friend Kara perfectly. When Oprah announced her final season my first thought was, "Oh no. Kara will never get a shot at normal hair now". I have known in the depths of my heart since I met her we would come to Chicago and she would be one of your stylists best successes. Never have I known a more generous, down to earth, accepting soul. If I called her in the middle of the night and requested $5K immediately her only response back would be, "small or large bills". Honestly, she would do anything for anyone. She would not only give you the shirt off her back but would offer her arms to go with it. Now, her hair. I have never seen anyone else that compares. When I first met her I thought she was just madly stuck in 1988 with a really bad perm and had a rough night with peroxide. Nope. It's real. When it's just washed and dried it looks like a blond version of one a 2ft wide halloween afro wig. She uses half a can of mouse per day in attempts to tame it and has even tried to buy cases directly from the manufacturer she uses so much. Even then it's nuts. She uses a roll of masking tape as a pony tail holder! She can't eat at ethnic restaurants because her hair soaks up the smells so strongly it disrupts public situations elsewhere. It's spectacular and can be a spectacular disaster. We have been friends since 1994 and the reactions I have witnessed vary greatly. People treat her differently and for the most part I find it negative. The amount of money she has spent seeking stylists and purchasing products is unreal. If they have made it, she has owned it. Surely someone has the skill to tackle this mane. If anyone deserves a switch up, it's her. (I took this picture tonight 3/22. It’s only washed and brushed. It is NOT teased or enhanced at all...just not over moussed)

Oprah! We can't wait to be a part of your show! Thank you in advance!


UPDATE
I listened to my voicemail today and discovered I missed a call from Oprah! Well...not her but her show. It went like this, "Hi Hope. This is Megan from Oprah and I would love to talk to you about the submission you sent in regarding your friend Kara. Please call me back." Ahhhh!!!! Of course I did but by the time I heard it with the time difference it was almost 5:00 there. I am hoping they work weird hours and she calls me again today. Oh, how exciting would it be to go? In reality I hope Kara gets picked so that I can come too. Even if I don't get to go I would be thrilled beyond belief if she did! Please hope that this turns out in the best possible way!

UPDATE
4/30/11
First of all Kara really does deserve this. Everything I told them, sent and shared was accurate and honest. I am really proud of that. I didn't want to do any "tap dancing" to get her on. I wanted to tell them what I really thought, felt and the reasons they would miss out on for not picking her. She is really selfless and kind. She also happens to have a nutty mop on her head that she puts 1/2 a can of mousse in a day. To get the chance of a lifetime on a show that is ending at a time in her life that a some new open doors would be appreciated is just cool. Now, it's a bit comical as well. I have actually believed in my heart of hearts for 10 years that I would do this and she would go. SURE of it. I just kept not doing it. At first I didn't because it wasn't right. I didn't want to say, "you need a makeover" because it's usually from a negative humiliating place. It was more like I wanted her to have the opportunity of a makeover for the chance to have some options with her hair and an experience to cherish. It just never felt right. When Oprah announced this year was it my first thought to myself, "you stupid procrastinator you screwed up by waiting so long!". I went on the website that day but there were no "upcoming shows" that would fit. Now, with only 6 weeks left of 25 years I ran across a link that led me to a link that led me to the entry page. I told Kara I was entering and needed to do it ASAP because it was the last chance. She came over on her way home, brushed her hair and I took a few pic's. Her hair was NOT assisted. Picked or brushed it's huge and crazy. The only way to tame it is with enormous amounts of products. I understand but wish it wasn't the case because it's more of a burden for her that fun. It's also been the source of a lot of pain. What she really needed were resources and help. Who better to bring in the big guns that Oprah!

There has actually been a lot of "action" between my last update and tonight. Tons of phone calls and emails. However, I had to keep it secret. We ended up talking for about 40 minutes after my update the call on 4/12/11. I told them why I thought Kara deserved this and answered all the questions they had. She said they needed pictures and needed them that night. I went out to her house and snagged a good stack. For hours I tried to send them but they weren't going through so I made a little slideshow and uploaded it via YouTube instead. I She said she would share them with her team and get back to me early the following week. She didn't. No one called the following week either so I figured it was over. I kept trying to convince myself that just getting the call was super fun and honestly putting together the slideshow was worth it to me. I did have a ball. She told me they loved everything but then didn't call. I finally got a call Wednesday this past week with more questions and requests for more specific photos. I called her husband for help and sent them in Thursday. I was on my 3rd Oprah employee (Brian, Producer) by Thursday afternoon when they told me they had made a final decision to include her in the Oprah Final Season Final Dream Makeover Show. What's weird is as soon as he called I recognized his voice. I had just watched an Oprah episode that he was on. I have been way behind and have 25 recorded (Matt loves that). When I watched it there was something about him that really stuck with me. He shared an emotional story but it was way more than that. I had watched that show maybe 3 days before and thought of him many times. I prayed for him the day I watched the recording because of it. I knew right away it was him. It was a shock that I would be going to. Honestly I was only hoping I would be included in some way. Had Kara gotten to go alone I still would have been ecstatic! Being given the chance to go along is just awesome.  I felt it was no accident he was the one that called.He said they wanted to come here "Saturday" to do a surprise. "Saturday? Like the day after tomorrow?" Wow! He gave me some additional details and we discussed possible surprises. I barely slept. I went to bed just excited and fine but somewhere in the night that totally changed! I freaked! On Friday he called and gave me the exact plan. It was totally different than what I had thought was going to happen. In that rundown he said, "We will come to your house first to film your part and then you will take us to her house and film there". My house! What!!!! Are you kidding? This is following a conversation 10 minutes prior in which I told Matt I would rather burn it down than clean it again. Crap! I had just seen a cartoon a few days prior that mother frustrated and not motivated to clean. She then gets up and heads to the phone. Her son asks who she is calling and she answers, "someone influential". Ha! I can relate. If I really need motivation to clean I plan a party. I did not expect to live it on such a grand scale only days later. Seriously! Nothing like getting you in super-hyper-scub-mode like a visit from a National TV Show let alone The Oprah Show. Well, it's clean. Come see it while it lasts! That should give you about an hour! Hurry. Anyway, my anxiety went from high to off the charts with that additional detail. I had no idea what they intended to do here but we wanted to be prepared. Matt and I were superhero's! I had no idea what they meant when they said they would shoot my part. I do now! They showed up here and briefed me on the plan, put a microphone on me and asked several questions. We then drove to Kara's house in which they recorded me driving. That was interesting. I said, "I am having a hard time just sitting still and looking ahead". The camera man replied, "I see that". That made it a lot easier! Ha! I could feel one lip quivering so I am sure that's going to turn out great. Once we got there they shot me driving down the road, pulling into the driveway, walking up to the house... I thought that would be the extent. Me involved but just quick little clips. It wasn't. I talked for the next 4 hours with a camera 12 inches from my face. He was shorter than me too so most of it I am certain was up my nose! We shot all types of sequences and things so I will leave those details a mystery until airing. A few of their ideas really threw me for a loop so I pray I did Kara justice. I wish I had known sooner what my portion entailed but it coming as a surprise I think may have transformed me into a nincompoop. The whole experience is still surreal. I feel like I am making it up. I am now in a different zone than I was on Thursday and Friday. I am nervous in a whole new way. What did I say??????????? I have no idea anymore. I am thinking of tons of things I wish I had said, a few come to mind I really wish I had NOT said and the rest is a blur. My hunch is 4 hours of tape is going to boil down to 11 seconds but who knows. I hope it's longer for the sake of all that was involved but I am genuinely concerned about the freak show I put on. I really wanted to be myself but it wasn't coming out right. I think if I had known I was going to do that I could have put on an actors hat and prepared myself differently. I don't like what I see in video when I am just normal. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I know I was weird. They kept saying, "that was perfect...got it...good job" but I am not so sure. I was talking in circles as fast or faster than normal and had some wild hair after the outside windy portion. At one point my stomach growled. Normally no one would notice that but I had a microphone in my bra. I asked them if they heard it in their headsets, they did. I am sure they heard my heart POUNDING OUT OF MY CHEST as well. They made me stare directly into the camera the entire time. I warned them about my freaky eye but I am not sure they were listening. I am really glad that I get to see it before everyone else see's it so I know whether or not we should move!!!!!!! In the end Kara came in, was totally caught off guard and is really excited. It hadn't fully hit her when I left her house but I am sure it will at 2:00am tonight! We fly to Chicago Wednesday morning, she will be separated from me Thursday morning and I won't see her again until Friday morning. I will be carted off to a different hotel Thursday night so I don't see what has been done. She will be finished Friday morning and then the show will tape later in the morning. During the show she will apparently be revealed to me. It's also going to include clothes. That night we will be on a plane back. I really would have been alright with a buddy pass on the plane and a ticket to the audience. I had no idea today would go down as it did and that I would be part of the reveal. I am so excited, so nervous, so confused, so so so grateful I don't know where to begin. My favorite part of today was Kara's comment as it started to soak in right when I was leaving. She said, "Man. I should shave my legs". I wish I could be a fly on her wall when it finally hits her!

This is Patrick giving me the run down. He had an amazing energy about him. He flew in the night before from New York and at the end of the day was going to drive to Phoenix so he could fly to Chicago in the morning. He is sweet, kind, funny and really real. I don't know what I expected but not that. He made me far calmer than I had been which helped a lot. Otherwise, I may have needed a diaper :) Ha! One thing I have certainly discovered so far is that her employees work their hearts out for her!

Me getting a mic

This is natural, the way it is without the mousse.

Ahhh, Poop!

This post is dedicated to poop! If you are not a tolerable fan of poop you might move on.

There seems to be more bodily excrement in my life today than normal. First I wake up this morning to Ryder saying, "Why do I have a diaper on? We talked about this! I am 4 years old. No more of these. I am going to be so mad to you". Well, I put one on him after he pee'd on me in his sleep. Actually I do sneak one on him every night because he just sleeps so hard he can't control it. Then this morning Charlotte threw a brown baseball over the gate on the stairs at me while hollering, "Thtinky". I noticed then that she had taken her diaper off and already laid a nice little pile of doo on top of it. By the time I reached her I quickly realized she had it EVERYWHERE. I had to give her a quick bath and then clean it all up. Ryder was totally horrified which actually made it bearable. His reaction was quite hysterical. Next, I walk into the living room to find the dog had just pee'd. I scolded him and put him outside and had to clean that up. Luckily I got a two hour break while I taught art at the preschool. It was a good day in preschool land. I think most days are good days when leaving because inevitably one of them says or does something that catches me off guard. I love the things they come up with. Today one of the little girls kept flashing her "debit card". She wouldn't leave it alone. It turns out it was a gift card to Victoria's Secret. Ha! So funny, especially the particular individual that had it. All the kids were impressed at her possession of the treasured debit card. I picked up lunch on the way home. Matt and I were eating at our dining room table when Charlotte stood up in her high chair and announced, "B" and proceeded to pee all over herself. I cleaned that up, gave her a diaper and continued on with lunch. A few minutes later she climbed up on the table so she could reach the "dip". She LOVES salsa so we can keep her occupied for longer than normal with dip. She has this habit of losing her diaper in a matter of nano seconds. She is certainly ready for potty training but at this point it's not clicking and is just hazardous. It is common to hear someone in our house (several times a day) to say, "Charlotte! Where is your diaper?" While eating salsa she somehow lost the diaper, stood up and pee'd right on Matt's lunch. I was just stunned but he howled hysterically. That should encourage her not to do it again in the future. I put ANOTHER diaper on her and took her upstairs for a nap. As soon as I got to the stairs I realized the brown ball this morning was not the only one. She had throw a ton more up the stairs. Someone had stepped in it and spread it along. Hmmmm...Hello! Isn't poop kind of hard to miss? I scrubbed it all up and really hope that was the last of it. A few weeks ago she walked in while I was on the phone and said something while laying a steamy log on my leg. She was so, so proud. I hung up and took her with me to flush it. We made a big party of it. She is aware she needs to go and knows when it is happening. We just need it all to occur in a different manner. With her being our fourth it honestly barely phases me. To a non-parent or someone that hasn't experienced the adventure of potty training this all must be horrifying. I know it's a phase and I know I will think it's extra funny later. Abbi pee'd in my ear while I was laying down when she was the same age. Izze pooped in my mouth when she was 10 days old (that was such a good one I included it in our Christmas newsletter) and Ryder stood up while eating dinner and pee'd right on his own dinner because he didn't want to eat it when he was just 3 years old. So, It's noon and I have been awake for 5 hours with about 10 hours left awake. I hope the remaining 2/3 of the day are free from #1, #2 and Lord willing #5 free!

**Abbi used to say she had to go #5 when she was feeling...sick.

8:57pm: EDIT
Believe it or not I have to add more! I put Charlotte to bed around 7:30. She fussed on and off for a half hour. When I went in I had left her light on! Argh! So much for sleeping when your mom leaves your light on. Anyway, I quickly noticed something on the floor. I asked her what it was and she answered, "poop". Awesome. She was naked. Her jammies on the floor, the diaper on the floor and two turds on the floor. I cleaned her up, dressed her again, washed her hands, laid her back down, and removed the poop. Good night Charlotte. Seriously, good night!

EDIT #2:
The very next day she pooped on Abbi's floor and then lined it up on her bed! Ha ha! Abbi was NOT happy about it! I find it hysterical!

I will go anywhere, provided it is forward.

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.
James F. Byrnes

I am not afraid of dying. I am most afraid of not living! I of course don't want to die but the thought of not fulfilling what I was born for horrifies me. God gave me all these wishes, desires, dreams and skills on purpose. We are supposed to do something with those. When I taught Life Skills at the middle school I had a lesson about looking forward. I asked the students if it would make sense to drive a car forward by looking in the rear view mirror only. Their answer always included a gasp. Of course some hysterical kid would say, "Huh huh, that would be cool". For the most part they couldn't imagine it possible. Why then do people spend so much of their lives looking back? I know people that are in the back cargo area of their car hanging on by their toes out the window scratching at the road passing. I saw a guy with a shirt in Taco Bell once that read, "The older I get the better I was". I laughed at the time but now I hate everything about that! Why can't the rest of your life be the best of your life? I was stronger, faster, tighter but now I am smarter. A job is easier when you have the right tools. Most of the tools we have in our belts were placed their by previous triumphs and failure. That means going forward will be easier. Better. My failures hurt. I don't want to repeat them. It makes my heart ache to see people long so badly for a time when they were better, when their lives were richer, when they were healthier or when things were more fun. Some want back their kids when they were little so much that they miss the incredible adults they have become or the grandchildren they have produced. It pains me to hear people say they could have been instead of what they still can be. God planted those dreams and talents in us to do it. If you are still here, you are still supposed to do it. Now, I am not thrilled about the recurring gray hair that appears on the top of my head. I have discovered no matter how much I pull and stretch my face there is a line that doesn't disappear and I do think shorts are a thing of my past. I do think of the consequences on my body before I set out in an activity even if it just entails walking. But I am grateful for the knowledge and security time is giving me as well. I care a lot less about what others think and believe a lot more in myself and others. It's often that I would wish those that think I can't or shouldn't would get out of my way so that I can. I know a lot of us are so busy looking down "while driving" that they don't know what just passed or can't see what is yet to come. It's easy to get distracted adjusting knobs, texting, digging for change that you didn't catch any of the journey either. I now someone like this. She is always making plans for when she has time, when she is thinner, when her kids are older. Time is the only thing we all have equal amounts of in a day. No matter how young, old, fat, thin, dark, light, smart or dumb. We all get 24 hours. How we use them, that's a different story. I tend to live my life like a waitress. I attempt to work on a ton of different things at once. It's a lot like the plate spinning act. Some get a lot better service and once in awhile one gets ignored so much they vanish. I certainly have a lot of room to grow in organization and efficiency. The hurdle to those for me is consistency. It's my greatest strength and weakness. I think I look forward...through a giant windshield. The greatest pressure in my life is that of possibility and opportunity! I lay awake and worry far more about what I need to do in the sense of what I am meant to do. Looking into the future too far can be problematic as well. I thought of this last night while driving up from Phoenix. Something was off but I couldn't identify it. Turns out I had a headlight out. I wasn't used to seeing things this way. I could only see "enough". I have trained myself to look at a much larger space. It's a good representation of me. I think and see broadly and usually at a quicker pace than others that I can add undue pressure. I also imagine and dream up so much for my future it may be unrealistic that it will all happen, and then in my eyes I will have failed. I don't waste a lot of time and energy looking back but I have to remind myself not to worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. The steps I take today will get me there but I can't leap out of today, and shouldn't. Now, glancing back to see where we have been does have merit. So, for me the sum of all these things is just move and look forward with an occasional glance back. That's why the windshield is 500 x's larger than the rear view mirror, there is more to come than what has passed.

Awesome!

I was looking at Abbi's pictures on Facebook and ran across this one! I love my legs! I am standing at the sink in the background. Apparently they were warping themselves on my computer in my office. I am totally into whatever I was doing with these mile long legs. Cracked me up! What got me next is in the background of the background Charlotte is ON her highchair tray. Super safe! These are my favorite kind of photos! This is real life!

Sweet Dreams!

I want to sleep. Sleep all the way! The way it was intended. I desire to prepare, lay, gain benefit from the time and rise refreshed. Well, that never happens. Ever. It did but has failed to return. As a kid I remember the alarm going off for school. I was sure I had never been more comfortable in my whole life. When I couldn't take the sound anymore I would jump to shut it off and try to return to the exact same spot. It never seemed to work but I tried. The thing is, it did exist I just couldn't have it back. Now, it never exists. I am never comfortable, never all the way asleep and rarely refreshed. In the past I was a very wild sleeper. I would wake up upside down, in a different room, in different clothes and often confused. Surely that was pretty deep sleep for all that to occur. Now, I am listening to my kids breathe from their room downstairs, timing the heater or pinching Matt hoping to make him quit snoring. Side note: He has recently completed a sleep study that determined he does not sleep deeply enough. Well, you could have fooled me. He appears to be in a comma and sounds like a dang freight train. When I did sleep I had dreams that seemed so real they interfered with my daily life. I would think I had made appointments that I hadn't. I have been angry about things that never happened or I long to repeat an experience that in fact was a dream. Once I woke up SURE I had just set the worlds best piece of cheesecake on my nightstand. I spent a significant amount of time trying to locate it. It was not to be found under blankets, clothes, in the closet or anywhere else. To this day I wish someone hadn't come in my house and stolen it from me while I was waking up! Ha! In college I woke up in someone's bathroom. Later I learned I had taken all of their things and piled them in the corner. The entire medicine cabinet, shower curtain, rug...all piled up. As odd as that is I want it back! Unfortunately, as long as I am a mother I think I am stuck. I think part of it is subconscious because I need to be aware. But..now my kids do it! Ryder said in his sleep two nights ago, "Ka, ka, k, Turtle". Charlotte was in our bed and repeated back, "Ka, ka, ka". That woke him up and then he woke her up. They proceeded to giggle and wrestle. Last night he chewed me out in his sleep and demanded I give him his cracker back. He was so mad that I had taken it. I was tired and frustrated but I can relate. I think his cracker must be wherever I left that cheesecake! Isabelle asked me two weeks ago if I had dressed her while she was sleeping. Nope. She had gotten up and fully dressed herself and went back to bed. Doesn't remember a thing. Abbi has gotten out of her bed, walked right to me and proceeded to have a one sided crazy town conversation. She usually gets frustrated and returns to her own room. My mom woke up in a hotel parking lot in her nightgown! When she asked my dad why he let her leave he responded, "I thought you went for a Pepsi!" What a bunch of nuts! One of my favorite childhood memories is of my mom chasing a spider she thought was in our tent while camping on the side of a freeway. It was scary and wildly entertaining all at the same time. I swear every night when I lay down I think, "can't wait to see how this night ends". I just wish it would end with me feeling like it was real sleep and not a Saturday Night Live skit! So, off to bed I go. Sweet dreams!

Hello! Woo hoo! Over here!

I first noticed it in high school. I worked at a "cookie store". I spent a year or two eating and selling hot gooey cookies at Grandma Buffalo's Chips (man to have that metabolism again!). It would happen often that a customer would look behind them in bewilderment while I attempted to help them from behind the counter. It always surprised me and my first thought was, "Duh! There is no one else there". However, over time I noticed a pattern. It always happened when I stood in the same place. In time I discovered that at the perfect distance if I look at someone, directly in the eye, they think I am not. It appears to them I am looking through or past them. They will look behind them, stand confused or point to themselves in question. My favorite is when then just furrow their brow and wince a little. Backing up or turning my head usually seemed to make their discomfort go away. It bugged me though because I was still looking them directly in the eye! A year or so later I was forced to sketch myself in a college drawing class. It was then I discovered "my issue". Okay...one of my issues! One eye is offset. It's crooked! Not like pointing the wrong way but like it stepped to the left! Seriously! I read once that Christi Brinkley is perfectly beautiful because she is symmetrical, both halves of her face are exactly the same. The Greeks even sculpted and painted people this way. Identical halves are ideal. Well, I missed that boat. I am asymmetrical! I am two different people glued together with this eye that stepped to the left. Anyway, I notice it at an exact distance somewhere around 3-4 feet. They have to be standing directly in front of me. I have experimented with which way to turn, tilt or lift my head. Apparently I have mastered it because it's only rarely that I notice it now. However, every now and again some poor fool will point to themselves or look behind them. It's just one of the things that makes me uniquely me. I really believed that was the extent of it and attempted to limit the self-conciousness of it. Well, I was wrong! One day Matt says, "Where are you looking?" I laughed and assumed my position. He asked again before explaining one eye had made a detour while we were talking. Crap! Now it floats around! That sucks! In time I have pinpointed that issue as well. It appears to occur only when I am tired. Lucky for me I don't notice it. It's not like I see two different directions at once. But...how cool would that be? Cool. Once in awhile just to razz me he will jump around and ask if I can still see him. Ha ha! It's a funny quirky thing that feels like a fun party trick that only I am party to. To my surprise by accident I recorded it...well sort of. I took a picture with the camera on my phone of my friend and I in Vegas. After uploading it to Facebook and reviewing it later I nearly wet myself in laughter! In this photo it looks FAKE! It looks like a knockoff glass eye! As much as this makes me odder than I already am, I LOVE IT! I love knowing I have the power to make people oddly uncomfortable by standing still. If you spend enough time with me one day it might just spin wildly in circles. I guess you will just have to wait in uncomfortable and nervous anticipation for which it might be!