Sweet Dreams!

I want to sleep. Sleep all the way! The way it was intended. I desire to prepare, lay, gain benefit from the time and rise refreshed. Well, that never happens. Ever. It did but has failed to return. As a kid I remember the alarm going off for school. I was sure I had never been more comfortable in my whole life. When I couldn't take the sound anymore I would jump to shut it off and try to return to the exact same spot. It never seemed to work but I tried. The thing is, it did exist I just couldn't have it back. Now, it never exists. I am never comfortable, never all the way asleep and rarely refreshed. In the past I was a very wild sleeper. I would wake up upside down, in a different room, in different clothes and often confused. Surely that was pretty deep sleep for all that to occur. Now, I am listening to my kids breathe from their room downstairs, timing the heater or pinching Matt hoping to make him quit snoring. Side note: He has recently completed a sleep study that determined he does not sleep deeply enough. Well, you could have fooled me. He appears to be in a comma and sounds like a dang freight train. When I did sleep I had dreams that seemed so real they interfered with my daily life. I would think I had made appointments that I hadn't. I have been angry about things that never happened or I long to repeat an experience that in fact was a dream. Once I woke up SURE I had just set the worlds best piece of cheesecake on my nightstand. I spent a significant amount of time trying to locate it. It was not to be found under blankets, clothes, in the closet or anywhere else. To this day I wish someone hadn't come in my house and stolen it from me while I was waking up! Ha! In college I woke up in someone's bathroom. Later I learned I had taken all of their things and piled them in the corner. The entire medicine cabinet, shower curtain, rug...all piled up. As odd as that is I want it back! Unfortunately, as long as I am a mother I think I am stuck. I think part of it is subconscious because I need to be aware. But..now my kids do it! Ryder said in his sleep two nights ago, "Ka, ka, k, Turtle". Charlotte was in our bed and repeated back, "Ka, ka, ka". That woke him up and then he woke her up. They proceeded to giggle and wrestle. Last night he chewed me out in his sleep and demanded I give him his cracker back. He was so mad that I had taken it. I was tired and frustrated but I can relate. I think his cracker must be wherever I left that cheesecake! Isabelle asked me two weeks ago if I had dressed her while she was sleeping. Nope. She had gotten up and fully dressed herself and went back to bed. Doesn't remember a thing. Abbi has gotten out of her bed, walked right to me and proceeded to have a one sided crazy town conversation. She usually gets frustrated and returns to her own room. My mom woke up in a hotel parking lot in her nightgown! When she asked my dad why he let her leave he responded, "I thought you went for a Pepsi!" What a bunch of nuts! One of my favorite childhood memories is of my mom chasing a spider she thought was in our tent while camping on the side of a freeway. It was scary and wildly entertaining all at the same time. I swear every night when I lay down I think, "can't wait to see how this night ends". I just wish it would end with me feeling like it was real sleep and not a Saturday Night Live skit! So, off to bed I go. Sweet dreams!