Ahhh, Poop!

This post is dedicated to poop! If you are not a tolerable fan of poop you might move on.

There seems to be more bodily excrement in my life today than normal. First I wake up this morning to Ryder saying, "Why do I have a diaper on? We talked about this! I am 4 years old. No more of these. I am going to be so mad to you". Well, I put one on him after he pee'd on me in his sleep. Actually I do sneak one on him every night because he just sleeps so hard he can't control it. Then this morning Charlotte threw a brown baseball over the gate on the stairs at me while hollering, "Thtinky". I noticed then that she had taken her diaper off and already laid a nice little pile of doo on top of it. By the time I reached her I quickly realized she had it EVERYWHERE. I had to give her a quick bath and then clean it all up. Ryder was totally horrified which actually made it bearable. His reaction was quite hysterical. Next, I walk into the living room to find the dog had just pee'd. I scolded him and put him outside and had to clean that up. Luckily I got a two hour break while I taught art at the preschool. It was a good day in preschool land. I think most days are good days when leaving because inevitably one of them says or does something that catches me off guard. I love the things they come up with. Today one of the little girls kept flashing her "debit card". She wouldn't leave it alone. It turns out it was a gift card to Victoria's Secret. Ha! So funny, especially the particular individual that had it. All the kids were impressed at her possession of the treasured debit card. I picked up lunch on the way home. Matt and I were eating at our dining room table when Charlotte stood up in her high chair and announced, "B" and proceeded to pee all over herself. I cleaned that up, gave her a diaper and continued on with lunch. A few minutes later she climbed up on the table so she could reach the "dip". She LOVES salsa so we can keep her occupied for longer than normal with dip. She has this habit of losing her diaper in a matter of nano seconds. She is certainly ready for potty training but at this point it's not clicking and is just hazardous. It is common to hear someone in our house (several times a day) to say, "Charlotte! Where is your diaper?" While eating salsa she somehow lost the diaper, stood up and pee'd right on Matt's lunch. I was just stunned but he howled hysterically. That should encourage her not to do it again in the future. I put ANOTHER diaper on her and took her upstairs for a nap. As soon as I got to the stairs I realized the brown ball this morning was not the only one. She had throw a ton more up the stairs. Someone had stepped in it and spread it along. Hmmmm...Hello! Isn't poop kind of hard to miss? I scrubbed it all up and really hope that was the last of it. A few weeks ago she walked in while I was on the phone and said something while laying a steamy log on my leg. She was so, so proud. I hung up and took her with me to flush it. We made a big party of it. She is aware she needs to go and knows when it is happening. We just need it all to occur in a different manner. With her being our fourth it honestly barely phases me. To a non-parent or someone that hasn't experienced the adventure of potty training this all must be horrifying. I know it's a phase and I know I will think it's extra funny later. Abbi pee'd in my ear while I was laying down when she was the same age. Izze pooped in my mouth when she was 10 days old (that was such a good one I included it in our Christmas newsletter) and Ryder stood up while eating dinner and pee'd right on his own dinner because he didn't want to eat it when he was just 3 years old. So, It's noon and I have been awake for 5 hours with about 10 hours left awake. I hope the remaining 2/3 of the day are free from #1, #2 and Lord willing #5 free!

**Abbi used to say she had to go #5 when she was feeling...sick.

8:57pm: EDIT
Believe it or not I have to add more! I put Charlotte to bed around 7:30. She fussed on and off for a half hour. When I went in I had left her light on! Argh! So much for sleeping when your mom leaves your light on. Anyway, I quickly noticed something on the floor. I asked her what it was and she answered, "poop". Awesome. She was naked. Her jammies on the floor, the diaper on the floor and two turds on the floor. I cleaned her up, dressed her again, washed her hands, laid her back down, and removed the poop. Good night Charlotte. Seriously, good night!

EDIT #2:
The very next day she pooped on Abbi's floor and then lined it up on her bed! Ha ha! Abbi was NOT happy about it! I find it hysterical!

Ms. Help

I work at Ryder's preschool two days a week. I love it. It reminds me of the parts I miss and loved deeply about being a teacher. It also gives me a chance to be there as HIS mom. I think kids get something special about having their moms around to show off. Funny how that is so true at age three yet it takes on a new form by age teenager. He introduced me as, "That's my mom. She is my special girl because I commed out her tummy". There is not a nicer or more genuine compliment I could receive than being claimed by someone. I find in my day that I laugh and love the things kids do hourly. Sometimes it's my own, sometimes is someone's monster in the grocery store. They are all fabulous. I find it hysterical that Ryder wants to rock out in the car, that the little girl in the grocery store is dancing down the aisle or that Izze and her friend would trade their left arms for Starbucks. I love that Charlotte says, "err ooo rrr" when I go to get her out of bed, that Abbi has reached a level of maturity and responsibility that she knows exactly where she needs to be and what needs to go there with her. I love that she wants to "love many, trust few and row her own canoe". I love that Charlotte likes to be a part of "it". It doesn't matter what "it" is. She needs to be right in the middle. She turns around and backs up with her little booty sticking out. She plops that thing down in the middle of everything. She does it most at the preschool. She goes with me most of the time and LOVES being there. Her favorite activity is to sample all the kids water bottles. That is a story of it's own. Several weeks ago she discovered Dylan. Dylan is the cutest little fella. He is just one of those kids you want to hug. He has fluffy curly blond hair and eludes a surfer dude attitude. Charlotte LOVES him! She is head over heels smitten. She is constantly searching for him to hug, love and sit on. He is so kind and gentle and just accomodates her love. He pays special attention to making sure she gets everything she wants while we are there. The whole thing fascinates me. If there is a tight crowd of kids she will wiggle through and find him. She doesn't even have to see his face. She just wiggles through and grabs onto his arm or leg. She just knows. As cute and funny as it is it's really taught me something. She trusts her heart. I find on a regular basis she is very choosy with people. She either loves you all the way or will tolerate you. It gives me a whole new perspective of the term, "it factor". There was a dad at a soccer game she was drawn too. She begged him to pick her up. She looked him right in the eye, gave him a giant hug and wiggled down. He was grinning ear to ear! He promptly turned to me and asked if it was alright. I knew in this day and age that came from both a place of panic and joy. He just had, "it". Anyway, back to the preschool. These kids are hysterical. Actually all kids are hysterical people just forget to see it sometimes. There is one kid that refuses to get his hands dirty. He won't touch slimy, wet, gooey... There is another that gives me updates each time I arrive. I very much look forward to these. The last one was, "my cousin is a doctor and has a bad case of i-a-reeah. Her flower has just been on fire". For weeks one told me, "My mama is a whoraasse". I would ask, "your mom is a horse?". She would say no. I would say, "your mom likes horses?" She would say no. I never asked the other. She said it 10 times every time I was there. I never have figured it out. Now she tells me her mom is going to bring her cookies. One little girl always wears her jacket upside down so the hood can keep her booty warm. They are so proud to share their stories, tell you about their dog or hear they did a good job. I don't want to live with them all but I just can't get over how much little people have to offer. Each and everyone of them is unique and different. However, the one thing they all have in common is that they call me, "Ms. Help". I have no idea how it started but it stuck. I hope with all my heart they never get it straight! I really love being Ms. Help.

Out the mouth of Ry!

Early in the week Ryder was watching Like Mike on TV. It's a cute little movie about an orphan that finds a pair of Michael Jordan's shoes that were hit by lightening. When he wears them he plays basketball, "like Mike". Ryder was mesmorized by the movie. I am not even sure he blinked. Afterwards he got my keys and told me we needed to go get him "some tricky shoes". I finally figured out he was asking me to find him shoes like in the movies. Every day since he has asked over and over for them. He is dead serious and wants to FLY! Sunday Matt is going to take him to find some. No harm in feeding that imagination! I guess we will just have to make sure he doesn't get disappointed.

I was dropping him off for school and I asked if we needed to blow his nose. His reply to me, "No. My burgers are gone and nothing is melting right now!" For the rest of my life when I get a runny nose I will think of that!

I was sitting at my desk and my foot was twisted to the side. He was sitting on the floor right by me and yelled, "GROSS!" I figured it was something the dog or the baby did. Nope! He was pointing to MY feet! My heel to be specific. I laughed and laughed. I really love flip flops but they don't love me and frankly my feet are gross!

This morning he woke up at 6:30. I was ignoring him hoping he would go back to sleep (of course he was in my bed). He grabbed my face and held it with both hands. He announced in a growl, "Mom! Did you forget to feed me dinner yesterday?". I guess he was hungry. I told him I had made him dinner but he chose not to eat it. He said to me, "That wasn't real food. I needed a real dinner".

Player #11 please step forward!

The last few days have been a whirlwind! This was the first week of school. Due to weather and construction delays everyone started at different times. In the midst Abbi was finishing up high school volleyball tryouts. That experience proved to be one of the most emotional of my mothering. Multitudes of girls wanted it so badly and were all giving their very best. I watched only for a few minutes, literally 2-3, before crying! The drive, stamina and drive was astounding! I knew she had put her very best forward but nonetheless was nervous and afraid for her. I have been on the other side of "not making it" and wouldn't wish that on anyone. In the end she did make the team and it's been very exciting to hear all that will be involved. Mostly I am just glad that part is over. I literally was having nightmares and stomach cramps. I am so incredibly moved by the person my little girl proved to be in the process. It gives me a lump in my throat. There is nothing more in my life that moves me than seeing someone reach their potential!

Don't panic! It was my kid!

Getting 6 people anywhere on time and ready is always a chore. Our plan for Easter service at church was to be there about 20-30 minutes early. We figured it was a "hot" church day and we wanted to make sure we had time to get everyone settled. We started extra early but somehow managed to be racing out the door 10 minutes before it was to begin. I really have no concept of time and couldn't care less about being late. My husband on the other hand hates it! He will often refuse to go in or won't attempt to go at all if it looks like being late will be noticed or cause a scene. He does have a point that rolling into a room as a group of 6 is not usually missed. Luckily, the church is close to our house. We arrived, parked, unloaded, and got to the far side of the building and were scrambling to check in the kids in hopes of making less of a grand entrance during the beginning. The parking lot was full and they were closing doors. It was clear we were "last". I could hear the music beginning and expected to be hunting for empty seats in the dark. Just as I was signing in Ryder for his class, lights started flashing and a screeching siren sounded. I saw Matt's face immediately. It was priceless! He was already racing towards to door leading to the hallway. Honestly, I knew who was responsible! Ryder had pulled the fire alarm! The teachers were already evacuating classrooms and organizers were frantically searching for the source of emergency. I announced to each person with a look of panic on their face that it was a false alarm and that my son had pulled it. I continued with checking in the little ones. I was hoping to not have to take responsibility in front of the couple hundred that had stopped singing to evacuate! The best part is that Matt ran to the door of the kids area and just stood there like he didn't know what had happened! Ha! Later Ryder said, "I pull the thing and it said wee ooo wee oo!". Really, how would he know not to? It's bright red and eye level for him. It's typical for our family that not only would we not be early or even on time but that everyone would have to be evacuated because we arrived!